shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
