And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
