I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
