have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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