I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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