i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you win again, gameday.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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