nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
