I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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