she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
