i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
