if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
