I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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