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I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
