Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I want to be your penis for a week.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
