I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
