I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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