can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
