I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
