You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
