Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
