Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
