I want to make a zoo with you.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
