as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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