Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
