Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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