It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
