i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
