maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
