we made out on top of his cat.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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