Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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