Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
