Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
