Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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