If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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