I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
too bad you live with your parents still
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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