She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
