I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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