Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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