Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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