she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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