You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
