if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
