i don't like sucking hair
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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