if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
