Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize