Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
