so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
