College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
