Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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