nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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