3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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