By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
